Twenty-eight

When turning the grand ol' age of 28, most probably picture themselves returning home to their very own recently purchased first-time flat, after spending another day in the office excelling in their dream career, or a career of some sort; whether that be manically tapping away at the laptop to gain that Head of Sales promotion, stacking the latest shocking pink geraniums onto the garden centre shelves (that's Mum's dream job, don't worry I'm sure Longacres will be hiring soon), or even eating chocolate hobnob after chocolate hobnob in the McVitties factory (sadly they're not currently hiring, I've checked), to slob the evening away on their very own recently purchased sofa they spent months ogling at on Pinterest... I on the other hand, having recently reached the grand ol' age of 28, totally didn't picture myself launching what my mother essentially sees as being no other than a pornography site... Yes, if I remember rightly I think it was a bit of Ciabatta bread my mother spat out that afternoon I pitched the idea of making The Naked Nob a real thing (real thing, being using my novice ICT skills from aged 15 in year 11 to create a lil' website), whilst enjoying a nice hot bowl of Tomato Soup from the Specials Menu at our local. What originally started out as a bit of a laugh last summer, combining my love of chocolate hobnobs whilst trotting around the globe, it wasn't long before the 'you're a bit of a nob head, aren't you?' reference cottoned on. Fast forward a year with a packet of hobnobs still in my back pocket, a new nickname, the occasional glance at my bare bottom (don't ask) and with my communication to the outside world running dangerously poor (sorry mum!), whilst still trotting around the globe (with or without clothes on)...why the hell not ditch the pen and paper in my diary, for the keypad on the laptop, to bring you all my raw realities (not that you even asked for it...but still...). I'm talking yachting, travels, biscuit cravings, lusting over deckies, not so lusting over charter guests that bare more of a resemblance to Mr Potato Head than Tom Hardy, what midnight munchies to make on the go after working an 18 hour shift straight (typically a bowl of cheerios or butter on toast/bread if you can't be arsed), lustings I'll expose it all...sometimes in more ways than one, but it's ok, my Grandma isn't connected up to the internet. Don't ask why I'm doing all of this either, I think 2 bottles of Malbec were involved...blame the grapes.

#letsgetnaked